Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
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