His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Drunk is not a location!
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
Randomize
