Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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