i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
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