it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
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