...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
this will be a night to untag.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Randomize
