my room smells like sperm. sweet.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Randomize