you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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