i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
Randomize
