he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
The beer is more important than you right now.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
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