you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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