I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
She needs sedatives and a leash
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
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