I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
