I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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