Ambien. No doubt about it.
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize