We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Randomize
