here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
Randomize
