The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
