Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
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