Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
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