Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
