so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
