Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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