i don't plan on having that self control this summer
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
