been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
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