he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize
