Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
foreskin is a definite game changer
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
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