Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
