Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
Randomize
