Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
