I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize
