i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Randomize
