I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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