this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Randomize
