to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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