tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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