So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Randomize
