and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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