Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
