Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
it was like eating out sand paper
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
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