Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
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