its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Randomize
