The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Randomize
