the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
i dont even know how to be here
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Randomize
