hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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