i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
YAS. BRING CRAB.
Pants are for mortals
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Randomize
