my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
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