Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Randomize
