i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
Randomize
