shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
