You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
