He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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