Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Randomize
