it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Randomize
