I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
a search helicopter?!
it's like heaven, but drunker
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
