Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
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