Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Randomize
