We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
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