I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Randomize
