Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
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